Do you ever feel frustrated when you think that you are healing/ have healed something in your life, only to find that something triggers it off?
*Raises hand* This has been going on for me the past few weeks. Before Christmas, I started to get really stressed out all the time about the littlest of things and it wasn’t long before I had the familiar tightness in my chest and shortness of breath. Yep, my anxiety had come back full force. I tried many things to help like yoga, meditation and breathing exercises. However, I was still having a lot of panic attacks and not sleeping properly at night. A couple of weeks before Christmas, I went to the doctors for a regular appointment when I found myself telling him how I had been feeling and I left with some medication to help.
I felt really uneasy about taking the medication at first as I had come so far since I stopped taking it and I was able to manage the anxiety by myself. I also felt that it meant I was a failure because why couldn’t I overcome this on my own? My mum pointed out that it is exactly the same as me taking medication for my physical illness. I was blinded by the stigma around mental health.
Now, a few weeks into taking the medication, I am getting slightly better. The horrible side effects are beginning to wear off and I’m beginning to feel more like me again. However, there are times when I get annoyed at myself for being triggered or not handling my anxiety well. I seen the above quote on Instagram the other day and when I read it, my eyes filled with tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Anytime I feel this way, I read the quote and it instantly calms me.
It is okay to have rough days, it is okay to trip up sometimes. No one is perfect. You are still healing. Honour your healing journey and take it one day at a time.
“Be gentle with yourself.”
Love and Light,